reflecting back

I came across something I wrote last year. I wrote this while I was living at L'Abri and working through my thoughts on God, or thoughts without God. I had tea with Prisca Sandri (Francis Schaeffer's daughter) every Monday and this was something I wrote after meeting with her.
It's interesting to read back on meaningful moments in your life. It's not theology or solid doctrine, but I'm so thankful for the way she expanded my thinking.

Tea with Prisca.
How do you overcome the ugliness that you see everywhere and the ugliness that you feel? How do you sit in that ugliness and KNOW that God is still good and that God still loves you?
I THINK I can say that bad things are not thrown by the hand of God. I think I can say now, that God USES bad things, but he doesn’t cause them in my life. Prisca told me to seek out the things that display the character of God. Look at the mountains. Look at the order in the world around me. Watch the sunset. Examine a flower or a vegetable garden. Watch love grow between people or the birds flying around and around. When life seems overwhelming and chaotic, NOTICE that God’s order still exists and goes on and on. God’s character is always displayed and I can notice it if I look behind the pain and confusion.

I think she has a good point. AND I don’t feel like this would be denying my pain. It is just choosing to keep my eyes on God.