new friends

From Episode #912 of FRIENDS "The One With Phoebe's Rats"
(I have highlighted a few of my favorite quotes)


Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.

Phoebe: (relieved) Oh, whew, no, that's Bob.

Mike: What, is he your pet rat?

Phoebe: Well not so much as a pet, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.

Mike: You can't keep a rat in your apartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.

Phoebe: What are those?

Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!

Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.

Mike: Thank you.

Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)

SCENE CHANGE: A little later in the day...

Phoebe: Hey Mikey

Mike: Hey P

Phoebe: What are you doing?

Mike: Setting rat traps.

Phoebe: To kill Bob??

Mike: No, no, to test his neck strength.

Phoebe: No, Mike, I don't want to kill him! I thought we were just gonna capture him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet a friendly possom and a wisecracking owl.

Mike: Ok, ok, I'll throw away the traps.

Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh-Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!

Mike: Better think of a new name for him.


Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.


Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...

Phoebe: Oh my god, we killed Bob!




Okay, so why did I just make you read that? Well, it's one of my favorite FRIENDS episodes. But also, Katie and I have mice in our apartment. Is it terrible that I find it endearing? There was a little mouse in our cupboard yesterday and I thought, aww...a mouse! We have new friends! What should we name him?
Katie said "Well, it's a good thing we have your cat!" and I laughed. My cat probably doesn't even know what a mouse is. I can see it now. One day I'll come home from work and I'll see Solomon (my cat) cuddled up with a few mice just sleeping away that afternoon! Haha, that will be the day!
I suppose I'll have to be respsonsible and set some traps but at the moment I am just avoiding the situation.

Stay tuned for any new exciting stories about the friendly little critters!