5.25.2006

don't waste your fruit

Good intentions are like rotten fruit. They start off healthy and desirable, but only result in waste.
Sometimes dreams can end up alot like rotten fruit.
Sometimes my attitude can seem like rotten fruit.

I'm having one of those weeks where I'm afraid to own anything that comes out of my mouth. My head maintains a hint of truth, but my emotional outcry coupled with insecurity tells me that I'm tired of caring. Sometimes I feel like I just want to pretend, I want to be like a big bowl of plastic fruit-the realistic kind that you want to touch and smell. That kind of fruit that looks perfectly perfect.

I KNOW the way I ought to act. I KNOW how to love. Doesn't that count for anything? I was talking to God last night about my attitude. I said, "God, I'm not "all-bad"...I'm just in a bad mood." I suppose I'm sort of acting like a big beautiful fruit tree that never gets picked. Good intentions huh? What good is the fruit if it's never enjoyed, never shared? It just exists like these bananas on my counter. I had every intention of enjoying them. Now they are wasting away...untouched.

I can't be too hard on myself. I'm human, I think I'm allowed a bad day (or two....or bad weeks). But today I'm trying to salvage the good fruit that is still hanging on my branches. This morning I'm trying to be more "fruitful". There's some brighter colors mixed up inside of me and I know there's room to adjust my condition. Maybe there's still time to turn my "good intentions" into devotion and committment.

Today I'm reminding myself that patience, gentleness and courage go along way. Please remind yourself of this too. Be reminded that all people deserve special "fruitful" attention and care. Remember that good intentions don't extend as far as active compassion.

3 comments:

silly, selfish, and searching... said...

i think your a juicy, sweet grapefruit! you look subtle and serene, and yet you manage to bring a twinge (is that a word?) to every one that takes a nice hefty bite and/or lick...and once in awhile, you might spit in someone's eye...but it get's him/her thinking...

read the above in metaphoric manner :)

mtnmama said...

we had some pretty skanky bananas on the counter this morn - and ya know - take it or leave it - they are the sweetest around. not to shift the thought here - but sometimes things look a bit worse than they are... keep it up kiddo!

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