nice suit!

(this picture wasn't taken today, but I'm wearing the same suit today)

This morning I stopped at Anodyne Coffee on Brady Street. It was my first time there and I liked it very much. But that's a different story.
There was a nice man outside that stood up and opened the door for me. He then recommended his favorite drink (which I decided against) and then when I came outside to leave he told me that I looked very nice today. Then he asked me "Do you have to dress up like that every day for work?"
I said "Yes I do, and thank you!"

On my lunch break I was relaxing in the shade underneath a tree. I was sitting in the grass, eating my turkey sandwich and this old lady came walking up to me. She didn't look homeless, and she didn't seem totally crazy, but she was sort of crazy. She stood in front of me. Looked at me for a few seconds. Then she said, "New suit I see? You look nice." And then she walked away.

I must say, this is a lot more encouraging than my mom's usual "You're wearing that???"
:-) Just kidding mom. You know I love you!


funny story

So my friend Glenda from home came up on Saturday. She's my age, she's Hispanic, and she has 3 wonderful little kids. ( I cannot imagine having 3 kids at my age!!! But that's besides the point).
So on Saturday she brought her two girls up to hang out and we went to the zoo.
Before we left for the zoo we were at my apartment eating cheese pizza. Karolena (her 4 year old?) looks up at me and says "What's your name again?"
I said, "Silly girl….you know my name!!!" and she laughed.
So I said, "Okay Karolena…you can call me whatever you want. What do you want my name to be? You tell me what my name is…"
She smiled….then giggled……
I said, "Well…what's my name?" And she said, "White Girl???"

Haha, I laughed. I said, "Okay, you can call me that :-)"
So we were at the zoo in the monkey exhibit and she was getting really excited and then she said "White Girl!!! White Girl!!!! Look at the monkeys!!!"

And of course everyone in the area could hear and they all looked at me really strange :-)


The Dustin and Stacey Show!!!

Yay! It's time to celebrate! Stacey and Dustin have finally started a blog! Please check them out, leave them lots of comments, and shower your love on them :-)....or whatever.


...Now I just have to get my brother into this thing. That kid can tell stories!!! Talk about entertainment! Well...all in good time I suppose.


my roommate who isn't my roommate anymore but will always be called "roommate!"

My friend. You are strong and nurturing. Time spent with you is fun and healing.
Remember when you would read T.S. Elliott aloud to me? Remember when we would run to Starbucks before Epistemology class? I laugh whenever I drink an Iced Soy Chai and remember how you teased me for sipping my drinks instead of gulping them. Remember when we would sit in our room and vent after frustrating chapel services? And more recently I remember smoking the Hookah on the patio of Casablanca. I have shared tears with you and laughter with you. We have been strong for each other and weak together. You inspire me. You remind me of who I am, and you believe in me.
I miss you. I am so proud of you. I am so excited for the next time we can share time together.



Yesterday I read a blog comment that really bothered me. It didn't bother me in an offensive way, I guess I just disagree. Or maybe I just see things differently.

I write this blog entry not to argue, not to attack, but only to raise some questions. They are questions I feel are worth asking. As always, I welcome ANYONE to dialogue with me.

The comment was in reference to a photo. It was shaming an assumed violation of a child's innocence. The Comment-Giver (anonymous to me) had a very strong opinion about the preservation of innocence. I sensed a strong desire to keep a child innocent, to protect that innocence, to shelter a child from the "filth" of the world. I guess it made me wonder.....

.....What is innocence? What is the purpose of innocence? Is it always a shame when innocence is broken? What breaks innocence? Is it exposure to indulgence? Or is it indulgence itself?

We walk a fine line when it comes to protecting ourselves don't we? One step to the right and a person is sheltered from reality. One step to the left and a person is over-exposed to the ruins of life. Perhaps the easiest way to escape the stress of it is to ride the safe side and avoid any unwanted consequences. But does that make a person innocent? Or does that make a person ignorant?

Before you attack me, please understand that I am not necessarily holding an either/or opinion. I'm not advocating that we walk completely on either side. Once again...I'm just asking questions.

When I was younger I was home schooled, and then I decided I wanted to go to public high school. It really bothered me when more than one person in my church told me that I was making a sinful choice. I didn't understand. It really bothered me. I'm not a mother, but I have an incredible mother! I respect her for letting me go to public school. Yes, I WAS exposed to many things there...many disgusting things. But because I was exposed I was then able to make real educated choices. How can our choices be valid unless they are educated? And isn't interactive experience the best education?

Working so hard to preserve innocence seems to assume that consequences are always bad. I have experienced the gut-wrenching heart-aching experience of an ended dating relationship...and that is a consequence I could never NEVER regret. I have experienced the shame of involving myself in some poor choices...but because of that shame I learned about God's abundant love for me. This grace has given me an identity that shines. Paul says "What then? Shall we sin more so that grace may abound more? By no means!" But he only says that because the grace of God is so incredible, and...well....needed...because we are human.
Psalm 119.1-3 says "Blessed is he who's way is blameless. He does nothing wrong." Is that the end? That's it? Just don't do anything wrong and I'm considered blameless? If that is the case, then I guess I fully disagree with the Bible and I think it is proposing a cheap way of living.

I feel our choices need to be made in courage. How amazingly beautiful it is to see the options, interact with them, and THEN choose which way to go! How much more meaningful is a blameless life when those choices were made courageously?!

I will conclude, in my own opinion, that innocence is maintained in spite of exposure, as long as good choices are made. And perhaps innocence is redeemable? If we don't allow ourselves to choose, if we don't allow ourselves to be educated, if we don't educate our children....then we are just ignorant. I think I really believe that.

Thanks for listening.



This is my family. You gotta love 'em. Somewhat sweet, somewhat nutty....sticks together like honey...hmm, sounds like a good dessert!
I'm so happy to be gaining a brother. Maybe Nick is relieved that the gender wars will now be even. Whatever the case...I'm pretty sure that Dustin is practically the coolest.


some thoughts

This is something that a friend gave me. It pretty much describes my feelings for the past few years. I share it here in hopes that it will make sense to other people. Maybe it won't. That's okay too.

Unravelling & Ravelling
Here I am unraveling!

It began with a doubt. A tickling thread, an element of itching. Not much, but at the same time I wanted it gone; I prayed for it to disappear.

Unraveling. Some early questions coming out of the fray: How can I claim to know God? How can I comfortably address Infinite-God in prayer? What is my faith made of?

This doubt was mocking me: 'You live your family inheritance! You've invested so much you can't let it go! Your identity is tied up in Christendom-pull this thread and you will be nothing!' Mocking little, dangling thread of doubt.

The thread. I couldn't ignore the itch. Should I snip it off and pretend it never existed? Or should I pull it and examine my reasons for belief?

I would pull it until it stopped. My faith would find its form and still keep me warm. It would stand up to the test. I would tug this thread and come out stronger.

I came out weaker.

Every question led to another. Each answer was teased apart showing its own presuppositions. Every new experience I was open to, and every stranger I met, pulled at the thread. I was unraveling, and I was unraveling fast. What would be left?! Filled with doubt. Filled with uncertainty. Filled with failure. That's how it started, this unraveling.

But unraveling and raveling, I was both. They mean the same thing. They do-go, look it up. I started to see that unraveling didn't need the negative appendage, the un-prefix. As if unraveling were to be avoided, to be considered the ruin of my belief, my faith's fall.

My Christ-encounter had become meshed in interpretation, and confused in my inheritance (church, theology, psychology, politics). My 'becoming-Christ' had become 'Christian' (in all its woollen glory). But rather than unraveling these threads to expose an embarrassed belief, this ravelling disentangles the web of confusing adornments and decor to make room for the next encounter.

Ravelling. Disentangling, not collapsing. My faith didn't unravel, it ravelled. They mean the same thing. It wasn't the end, it was the beginning of something... I learned to revel in ravelling. The questions proclaim more than the answers. The searching confirms that there has been revelation. The hunt for an unattainable treasure confirms that we have found it. Tearing apart what I love is evidence that I love it.

Filled with doubt, for what is faith without it?! Filled with uncertainty, and my remaining beliefs are held lightly; an ensured humility. Filled with failure; failure to grasp God, forever failing.

I am ravelling.


a very special weekend

I have returned from Canada. It was a wonderful weekend...everything I was hoping for it to be. I am amazed at the richness of friendship, so rich that time can't damage it. Being together again was a gift that encourages me. I love them all.
Here are some pictures from the wedding festivities...

Joel and Magda, June 9, 2007 Yay!

These are my life-long friends....

They made their own wine for the wedding. It was great. I know this picture is a little blurry, but the labels are from the artist Chagall. They were really cool!

Here's a fine picture of Danny. He was an Usher.

3 Dear friends, Kevin, Danny, Joel. This was on the way to the wedding. Kevin is carrying a delicious apple tart.

Garrett and Danny.

Joel and Kevin dancing. It was a little pre-wedding excitement.

Danny and me.

Garrett and me.

I have the best friends in the world.



Well Folks, the word is out. Stacey and Dustin are "thinking" about starting a blog.
I vote yes!!!!

What do you think? Cast your vote in the comment section please!

Seriously, the blogging world is lacking without them. I mean...they have so much to talk about...like mullets, and walmart, and marriage, and med school, and coffee, and stuff....come on everyone! Cast those votes!

another wedding :-)

In the winter of 2005, two people fell in love....

These are my friends Joel and Magda. This picture was taken at L'Abri, 2 years ago. This was taken during a time when we were only allowed to take 2 showers a week, when nobody really cared what you looked like...a place that makes people beautiful in so many ways!!!

These are my friends that I love.
...and they are getting married!!!!!!!

This afternoon I am going to Canada to be a part of this wonderful event.
And next week, I'll post updated pictures :-)

In the words of Five Iron Frenzy.....

"Lets go to Cananda, let's leave today!

Canada oh Canada, i s'il vouse plait.

They've got trees and mooses and sled dogs,

lots of lumber and lumberjacks and logs,

we all think that it's kind of a drag

that you have to go there to get milk in a bag..."


thank you

I'm going to be vague because vagueness is required.

Lately I feel like my family is blessed to be loved by some of the most amazing people. I feel so at peace knowing that we are supported and cared for in any time of need.

This post is to say thank you, THANK YOU....all of you who have been an encouragement and all of you have given your time and help to our family. I find peace because of you. Thank you.

Any person who is reading this post, remember to take care of the people in your life. Take care of the people that you love. Serve the people around you. Give your heart. You never know when you might need that same service in return.



my day in pictures

I have been so tired and achy. I slept on a few couches last weekend, I was on the go go go, I took a Power-Flex weight lifting class and my body was screaming, I was up past mid-night for too many nights in a row....all of these things resulting in emotional and energy decay.

Yesterday at work I had 4 different people pull me aside to ask "Are you doing alright? You're not looking so great." Haha, thanks!

So I decided that I needed some "ME time". Below is a picture story of my day yesterday. Today I feel splendid.....or maybe even SPLENDERTACULAR!!!

(...a long day at work wishing it was Friday)

(After work I met up with Amy for our favorite work-out evening...yay for Thursdays.)

(Liz led an awesome class. I think it was my favorite ever. It was tough! She taught us a few new steps and I felt very challenged. Liz is trying to convince Amy and I to start teaching our own classes. Hmm...possibly?!!)

(I was starving and decided that my "ME day" needed to include a Palermos Primo Cheese Pizza. Yum.)

(There are moments when wine is a necessity. This is my favorite red wine...yes I know it's not high class or anything, but whatever...I like what I like. Mom and Judi and I shared a bottle of this wine every night we were in Italy.)

(Not just one glass....but 2. It's the perfect way to relax your muscles to guarantee a restful relaxed night of sleep.)

(Moose tracks...not my favorite, but probably on my top 10 list.)

(Season 1, disc 3, side B, episode 4.)

(...and then I fell asleep, relaxed and perfect!)