NOTICE: no human beings were hurt in this dream

I've been having some recurring dreams for a while now. They are strange, yet not as terrifying as I have had in the past. I've always been an active dreamer. Sometimes I wake up laughing at the details and the creativity wrapped up in the dreams. Other times I wake up thinking "What the heck does that mean???" I know that sometimes our dreams are filled with nonsense. But I do believe that sometimes our dreams reflect things that we are feeling and in some ways, I find them to be constructive.

So lately I have been dreaming about plane crashes. They aren't violent terrifying plane crashes. They are almost like roller coaster rides. When I am on the plane, it usually bounces and flips around before it finally crashes. But people don't get hurt. Things just explode. Sometimes I am on the plane, and sometimes I watch the planes crash in the distance. I've never seen people dying in these dreams, but usually the plane crash does extensive damage to the city, or the surrounding area. Last night I had a dream that I was on a beach in Chicago and I was watching a plane crash above the city. The entire Chicago skyline was destroyed all around me and I was left standing there in fear. I remember a distinct feeling at the sight. It was a feeling of horror at the destruction, and a feeling of helplessness to save it. But again, no people were hurt.

I've been doing a little online research (which is limited and sketchy) and I've come to learn that these types of dreams often reflect a feeling of fear. They suggest that I am nervous about something, that I don't feel like I'm qualified to do a certain work, and that deep down I'm afraid that everything will come crashing to destruction.

Hmm...I can't imagine that this would be the case in my life at all can you??? (note the sarcasm there)

So perhaps these dreams will fade away as I begin to feel more comfortable as a teacher in this foreign place. I am learning so many things these days. When you learn how to teach, you learn so much about your own self. I'm learning how to be stern and nice at the same time. I'm learning how to explain things, but also how to act like I am all knowing. Sometimes I feel like a fraud. Will these kids ever notice that I really don't have a clue? And there's always the fear of failure. What happens if my school gives up on me? What happens if the students keep failing their tests? How can I make boring material seem interesting and exciting?

It's strange to see how my dreams connect to my present experiences. Often times I'm so busy living my life that I don't make the connections between my feelings and my experiences. I mean, yes I know that I'm a little stressed out or nervous, but I might not realize right away that it's affecting me to such a great extent. What am I saying? I guess I just think it's cool that my dreams can communicate in such detail to me. If I listen carefully, it's almost like constructive guidance. My dreams are saying "April, it's going to be okay. Your world is not going to come crashing down. You can do this. I know you're nervous, but just keep trying..."

I guess it's a good thing I like to take naps. It's like extra time in the counselor's office. It's like extra time to reflect on what's going on in my life. It's silly, but true!