about things that are sacred...

Here is a deep and beautiful thought from the writings of Frederick Buechner. Time and again he inspires my soul as I read the way he translates life through spiritual thoughts.
The following is from his book "Wishful Thinking".

I'd just like to say this first: I grew up in a Christian world where the sacraments were not heavily celebrated. Even communion was given in a more casual way than traditional Christianity would have it. It seems as if the sacraments carried a ritualistic feeling of dead demands. I grew up around people who had an attitude of freedom...freedom from the old religious rituals that feel void of meaning. I'm not bashing this more contemporary view...I understand the reasoning...but I guess I wonder what we are missing when we walk away from this sacramental designation.

Here's what Buechner says:

A sacrament is when something holy happens. It is transparent time, time which you can see through to something deep inside time. Generally speaking, Protestants have two official sacraments (the Lord's Supper, Baptism) and Roman Catholics these two plus five others (Confirmation, Penance, Extreme Unction, Ordination, and Matrimony). In other words, at such milestone moments as seeing a baby baptized or being baptized yourself, confessing your sins, getting married, dying, you are apt to catch a glimpse of the almost unbearable preciousness and mystery of life. Needless to say, church isn't the only place where the holy happens. Sacramental moments can occur at any moment, any place, and to anybody. Watching something get born. Making love. A high school graduation. Somebody coming to see you when you are sick. A meal with people you love. Looking into a stranger's eyes and finding out he's not a stranger. If we weren't blind as bats, we might see that life itself is sacramental.

In an article called "The Sacramental Imagination" by David Wygmans, this whole idea of respecting and responding to things that are sacred is expanded. I would copy the entire article for you...but then I know you wouldn't read it because it's too long :-) But he ends his article with a beautiful paragraph of summary.

The church has two (or seven) sacraments that it celebrates by way of living out on a small scale the universal sacramentality of life. We should celebrate the sacraments in ways that impart as much as possible a sacramental imagination, giving both vision and permission to those who partake as well as those who stand far off and observe. In this way, the church's ritual will say "We celebrate specific promises of God here in these rituals. We use normal, everyday elements because God comes to us in the normal and the everyday. And God's promises are all encompassing. 'I will be with you'. Who can ask for more of the sacred in the everyday than that? Therefore, all of life can be a rite by which we receive reminder and assurance of God's promises. We hold these things used today in these sacraments as sacred not because of some special control we have over them but because all of life is sacred. As you go from here, look for the presence of God in all that you come across, in all that comes to you. Live in these sacraments here in this sacred space so that you can go out and live sacramentally in all of your life, in the whole sacred cosmos.


Okay, so why does this have meaning for me? Why did I post this on my blog? What can we draw from it?

-If we recognize that God is with us always, and that this whole world is a sacred place created by him, then we can see that all of our encounters are encounters with more than just "stuff". When we see something beautiful in people, or art, or expression, or nature...that is a sacred thing! That beauty is there to remind us that there is something bigger and more powerful and more creative. That awe, is there to inspire us! Even so, when we maintain our schedules of habit, when we go to church, sing songs, take communion, volunteer, listen to people, eat together...These things that sometimes can seem mundane, are chances for us to recognize that all moments can be moments where we recognize God. As we experience our humanity, we should always connect that with the divine. Well...that's MY opinion anyway.

I think I believe that God is big, and God is everywhere, and God is all the time. And instead of asking God to come and bless, or inspire, or reveal himself through things that are natural, I think I'd rather take the time to recognize God WITHIN the things that are natural. Doesn't that make life seem more meaningful? Doesn't that make life seem more inspired? The snow on the ground, the warm spring breeze that we wish for, the late night heart-felt conversations, the joy of holding a new born baby, the special notes of encouragement received from a friend....these things are all sacred in their own way, just as sacred as communion or baptism.

What do you think?

i could have died or something!!!

A few days ago I was at home and I really REALLY wanted to make some toast with peanut butter on it. But guess what? I didn't have any peanut butter at home.
So I went to the store and I bought some.
But then I got distracted, and by the time I got home I didn't really feel like peanut butter anymore.

Then the next day at work there was a news report out about Peter Pan Peanut Butter. It caught my attention because that's my FAVORITE KIND!!! and that's the kind I bought.
The report said that salmonella was found in Peter Pan Peanut Butter's with the jar code starting with 2111. There were 300+ reports of illnesses.

When I got home, I checked my jar of peanut butter. INDEED, its code started with 2111.
Well, gosh...it's a good thing I had lost my craving for peanut butter toast!
I could have died or something!!!
So all of you people who have been really bad at writing back to me...just think of that! I could have died from peanut butter!!! You all should write me more often :-)

I WON AGAIN!!!

Hey guess what? I won ANOTHER vacation!!! Cool for me right?
Well, here are the details:

--It is a vacation for 2.

--I can choose between Las Vegas and Orlando.

--I have to pay a $299.00 service charge per person. (totalling $598.00)

--I have to pay for my own airfare to get to the place of my choice.


So...tell me again what I won? I think I won a chance to spend a lot of money!
I guess I won a free hotel stay, and maybe some free food or something.

I went to the wedding expo a few weeks ago. Yes..I went to a wedding expo. I know I won't be getting married for another 25-some years, but I want to be prepared ya know? Besides, if I want to do a vintage style wedding, it's probably smart to pick my favorite things now. That way they will be labeled "vintage" when I'm actually ready to get married. I'm so smart!!!
But anyways, I went to this wedding expo and I had so much fun signing up for all the free stuff. And I keep getting calls from different booths telling me that I won. Do they just give out a prize to everyone who signs up or am I really REALLY lucky? The only booth that hasn't called me back with a prize was the "naughty product" booth. Maybe I'm not THAT lucky.

But you know what is else is kinda funny? When they told me that I can choose between Orlando and Vegas I was just like "eh...cool I guess". I have become such a vacation snob! Come on, how many other amazing places are there to go?!!! How about a vacation to Antarctica? Or how about a vacation to the Czech Republic? Or how about a vacation to Spain or Greece? I suppose I could settle for Orlando and go to that one Disney park that has little quasi-countries. It could maybe sort of feel like I am traveling the world.

Whatever, I thought I'd share the good news with you! Don't you wish YOU could be this lucky?!

thought for the day

I really like finger food.
And I really like making ALL types of food into finger food.
Things just taste better that way!

poor dog!

For your enjoyment please enjoy the news story below. You can thank my dear sister Stacey for bringing it to my attention.


GIG HARBOR, Wash. -- Anni Sheriffius said she was trying to wash off what she thought was dirt on her dog Jasmine’s ear when the ear fell off. Then she realized her dog’s groomer cut off the dog’s ear and super-glued it back on.

“And I saw the ear float away, and it freaked me out,” described Sheriffius.

She says she couldn’t believe what she was seeing when she saw her dog, Jasmine’s, ear fall off during a bath.

Jasmine, a Shi Tzu, had to undergo treatment for an infection. Sheriffius said she still has the ear in a plastic bag and has been crying for weeks at the thought of someone hurting her dog.

Pierce County sheriff’s investigators are looking into possible criminal charges against the unlicensed dog groomer.
“Once they tried to hide it and glued the ear back on, that’s not good for the dog. There are all kinds of things that can happen, infection, it’s cruelty to animals,” said Det. Ed Troyer.

The shop where Jasmine was injured in Washington, J’Rae’s Pet Grooming, appears to have shut down according to KIRO-TV.

“I’d like her never, ever to touch another dog. That’s what I’d like to see,” said Sheriffius.

goals in life

Someone asked me, "April what are your goals in life?"
That's a question I have asked myself a million times but for some reason this time I was caught off guard. I thought for a few minutes. I'd like to share some of those thoughts with you.

In my twenty-four years of living I have accomplished some defining things. I take joy in remembering all of the places I have been and all of the people who I have met. These places, experiences and people have brought me step by step closer to the courageous and vivid woman I am trying to become. But then, as I review, I realize that most of these things were NEVER on my "goal list". In fact in most cases I have been places I never would have imagined myself. I never would have imagined myself studying in Seattle and pursuing a degree in Philosophy and Religion. And I never would have imagined myself leaving for Switzerland, traveling Europe, or growing so fond of Swiss train rides. And even now in my life, I never would have dreamt of being here in Milwaukee, living in my own little apartment, helping with a church launch, or working for a law firm. But who would I be today without all of this? Well, I suppose my original goal list would have made me into a music radio producer and a Christian counselor. And my original goals would have turned me by now into a wife and a mother. And my original goals would have never included travel.

Maybe my goals in life should have less to do with accomplishments and more to do with character.

I have all of these ideas of where I'd like to see myself in 10 years. I could quickly construct my ideal life and be very satisfied. But would I be? I want to know (and I think I'm starting to learn this) how to listen to God more. I wonder how often I'm too busy forming my perfect successful life. I wonder how often I miss moments of inspiration because the ideas don't fit in with my own ideas.

Will I go to graduate school? Possibly. Will I get married and have a family? I hope so... Will I ever teach? Will I publish? Will I do missions? Will I? Will I? Will I? I don't know anymore. But what I DO know is that I love my life. I love the feeling of living ON PURPOSE and being brave enough to do the things that seem crazy. Crazy doesn't have to be irrational. Crazy can be brave and new and inspiring.

So let's go back to the original question. "April, what are your goals in life?" I recently saw a quote on my friends MySpace page. It said, "I want to change the world around me--subtract around me". Cool huh? I'm starting to learn that my effect upon this world has little to do with the things I achieve. I am seeing that people care more about who I am. I want to BE great. My goal is to keep living every second with a few moments in between to stop and listen for new direction. Now, for those of you who are now concerned that this means I want to float from place to place for the rest of my life...that doesn't have to be the conclusion. I just don't want to be so busy gluing together my life that I fail to see all the things I'd rather become.

Okay. So what are your goals in life? Write me back if you feel like it.

chicken soup, long underwear, and what is love?

Last night I made a big pot of chicken noodle soup with homemade noodles! They actually turned out to be more like dumplings, but just as tasty!

Today I'm wearing long underwear under my dress pants. I feel chubby, but I kinda like it. Makes me feel a little more cozy behind this big desk. Makes my coffee taste all the more morning-warming. Makes me want to go sledding though.

Jason Mraz said "It takes no time to fall in love, but it takes a lifetime to know what love is".
Isn't that a beautiful thought? Doesn't that make you want to embrace every effort so much more because you know that it's only going to get better as time goes on? Doesn't that thought redeem our frustration when things seem more complicated than necessary?

Love to you dear friends on this one more day of unbelievable coldness!

mercy hill church

Welcome to Mercy Hill Church!
www.mercyhill.org







We are very blessed to have our walls clothed in the breathtaking photography of local artist Mark Baron. Please view his website at www.peekaresque.com. What a beautiful expression of creation and humanity and diversity and unity... amazing!

Grant, we beseech thee, Almighty God, that the words which we have heard this day with our outward ears, may, through thy grace, be so grafted inwardly in our hearts,
that they may bring forth in us the fruit of good living, to the honor and praise of thy Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

From the Book of Common Prayer

promises broken

I've been a bit absent from this blog. Sorry everyone. I have a lot happening in my life but it seems that everying is in the beginning stages. I guess I'm waiting for time to bring about some awesome stories to share.

For now, I will share some things I've been thinking about.

What is a promise?

Where does the idea of a promise originate?

Why does it seem that so many promises are broken?

Why are we apathetic about that fact?

Why do we promise on the Bible when we promise to tell the truth?

Why is the term "promise" used so casually, just like the word "love"? I promise to always be there for you. I promise to do the dishes after dinner tonight...

If we have no way of predicting our future, then how do we so easily make promises that we intend to keep? How do we know that our future circumstances will accomodate our promises?

Why do we even make promises?


We discussed these questions at my last weeks Socrates Cafe meeting. It was incredibly overwhelming to me as I sat and listened to so many different opinions.

One woman told her own story. She was married to a man who was lazy and unsupportive. After a few years she gave him an ultimatum and said "Either get a job or I'm leaving you". He didn't get a job, so she left. But she didn't divorce him. In her eyes, she made a promise when she got married and as far as the papers show, she has still kept that promise! 5 years later they have almost no contact with each other, they live completely seperate lives, but she has kept her promise to stay married. Does the promise really matter if our hearts aren't involved? We can make ourselves feel so guilty, and so pressured...is an unbroken promise really worth all of that burden? At what cost do we make our promises?

I left the meeting dripping with confusion. I couldn't take any sides at all, I felt like I understood everyone. I felt like there was a big huge question mark forming beneath my skin.

Where do God's ideals fit in this world? You know, when Jesus was living on this earth his teachings were very hard to take. People listened to his ideals and felt like they were foreign, bizarre and impossible. Has that really changed within today's world? I feel like I'm just one more irritated and confused body. I understand what God is saying when he talks about love and grace and faithfulness...but I also want to say, "God, have you looked at the condition of this world?" Where do these things fit?

Did promises originate with God? Are the jumbled opinions of this world merely the result of people not knowing the author? Can I really apply God's methods in today's world? How? Why do we make promises? Why does it even matter?

If your head is spinning...well mine is too! But I hope that maybe I got you thinking, and I sure would appreciate your feedback.

Today I was listening to my music and I was startled at the lyrics of this song:

"I Do" by Late Tuesday

I do, for a while.
I promise you, at least for now.
And I'll love you forever, or until I say otherwise.
But I do for now.

I'll say these words to you today.
I'll look you in the eye, believe me now.
And I'll love you forever, or until I say otherwise.
But I do for now.

These words I say to you,
they mean nothing if I cannot follow through.
Is it just feelings or something more
that will hold us together?

And these things I vow are true,
but they are nothing if I cannot follow through.
And who is to say when enough is enough,
when we say this is love?

And we say this is love?

I do, for a while.
I promise you, at least for now.
And I'll love you forever,
or until I say otherwise.
But I do for now.

P.S.

P.S. I'd be lost without my dad. I really love him.

update

I'm sorry. I keep getting yelled at because I'm not updating this often enough. I just don't have much to say.
But to humor a few people (who will remain unnamed), here's an update.

My car battery died this morning and I am very annoyed.

My ankles hurt a little.

I've been eating Malt o Meal every day for breakfast for the past three weeks. My co-workers keep commenting on their childhood whenever they see me eating it.

Last weekend I made some really awesome chili and I'm very proud of my "throw it together" recipe.

I'm wearing mis-matched socks today because my room is such a mess and I couldn't find anything.

I talked to my sister last night while I was going to the bathroom.

I'm going to have a roommate soon!


That's all for now, I hope you enjoyed the update!


Love love love

random

My friends make me smile. I had the most random conversation with my dear friend Audra. Enjoy!


Audra: I also just saw a lady with the most slim fingers I have ever seen in my life. they were beatiful.

me: That was random.

Audra: You should have seen them Apes, you couldn't help but notice them.

You know how some people's eyes are so pretty you can't help but stare at them? That is how these fingers were. :0

It's a true story.

me: I believe you

travel bug

I've got the travel bug again. It's driving me crazy!

longing

I'm missing you. Memories of being safe in your haven, resting, growing, being nurtured, these memories glisten in my soul. I long to be surrounded again, to stand in awe of your natural beauty. I feel so exposed now. I am wary, nervous, unsure, eager... When I return, someday, I will feel full again.

People often ask me why I miss L'Abri.
They ask, "What was so wonderful about it?"




















Need I explain more?

be real

The past few years I have had the need to test God by pushing all of his buttons just to see how far my rebellion can go. Does God really care?... Does he?....Really?.... Does he really care?....Does he care even when I don't care?..... Does he really?....really? Isn't that how we are sometimes? Well, that's how I am. I'm kind of surprised (and very much relieved) that God doesn't just take his big huge right hand of justice and squash me. If I was God...I'd be so irritated I'd be asking the other gods for some help. Like, "Seriously guys...April just doesn't get it!!!"

None-the-less, lately I feel like I just don't know if I really get it. When I step outside of the church, and when I step outside of my comfortable group of friends, and when I step outside of the norms that have created my little womb of a worldview....well frankly I don't feel like I really want to be a Christian. I feel like my Christian worldview is quite flimsy and I feel like I'm constantly facing issues that are so vague and complicated that I'd be an ass to just stuff them in my Christian womb worldview like they actually fit!

And then I laugh at myself because even when I'm angry and bitter and I feel like I have nothing steadfast to believe in...I lay in bed and I say, "God....I just don't know if you exist!". How silly right? I'm questioning the existence of the same person I'm talking with.

I was thinking the other day...what would it be like if I didn't talk to God anymore? What would it be like if I just started living as if he wasn't there? What would my life be like if I gave it all up? completely! How terrifying! If I exclude the God part of my life, then there's just nothing left that really matters.

I've been talking with people lately about emotional balance and achieving emotional health and personal growth in life. There are so many practical theories that have been constructed to help a person stay level. Some of them are quite helpful. Like, the importance of being honest with yourself and other people. It is amazing what happens when you stop trying to dance around things and when you bring the issue to the table right away. Honesty. Honesty definitely aids in keeping things balanced.
A personal favorite of mine is the advice of allowing other people to own their own reactions. I can't allow myself to get caught up on the emotions and reactions of other people. I cannot allow myself to be offended. Instead I need to pay attention to my own reactions and my own emotions. This is good advice!
There are many books written, numerous lectures given, and too many resources to count on the topic of emotional balance/healing/growth.

Lately as I've been listening and observing all of these thoughts and suggestions I can't help but just turn back to God about all of it. The truth is, we all have emotions. Emotions can sometimes make us feel overjoyed, and sometimes our emotions make us feel darn-tootin' rotten. And that's okay! Both of those are okay! And I certainly know that I am not powerful enough to keep myself in balance just by some practical guidelines. And I'm not sure that this is even the point of life! People dis religion all the time and say that it's just a crutch to make you feel better. People say that Jesus Christ, God Eternal, Jehovah Jireh is just a creation of the human mind, passed down through the generations to give us all something to believe in and to take comfort in. But do you know what? It's not that easy! God doesn't necessarily fix every thing about my emotions. The goal of my relationship with God is not to make me feel balanced all the time. People work so hard and search so earnestly for something that will fix them, but that just doesn't seem right to me! God accepts me for who I am as a human being. God created me with emotions...the emotions to be excited, and the emotions to be offended. God gives me the courage to keep working through nerve-wrenching circumstances, he doesn't just fix everything so I don't have to be nervous at all. That would be pretty lame right?

So here I am at a weird place in my life. After pressing all of God's buttons on purpose, testing him, avoiding him, screaming at him, I've come to this place where life just makes sense with him. Well, I don't really know what that means, but I don't feel like I can keep avoiding God. I don't think that God always makes sense, but I also don't want to conclude that God = bad logic. I don't know that God will ever give me all the answers to all the complicated questions that I face, but I don't think that means that God doesn't have those answers. And for the people who feel like they are powerful human beings capable of such greatness within themselves, I guess I challenge you to find a purpose in that. I certainly don't think that emotional balance in my life will ever make me feel accomplished. And I'm not sure that personal success, or a flawless lifestyle will ever make me feel like I've achieved the greatest possible life. Seriously...people say that Christians are so wrapped up in their own bubble wrap that they can't relate to the real world. But true Christians...Christians who understand their humanity are probably the most relative people that are walking around.

What is the point of all that I've just written. Hmm, I'm not really sure. But I'm not sure that walking away from God, from the church, or from religion, or from the Bible is what my heart really wants to do. I think I just want to be human, to be fully fully human, and to find joy in that. Maybe I'll stop pressing God's buttons, and maybe I'll start feeling okay about what my heart really wants in life. And maybe I can give Christianity more credit than I have been lately.

It's something to think about.

Merry Christmas guys, Merry Christmas!!!

my tree

The past two weeks I have been cranky. So many stupid things troubling me. My breathing doesnsn't even feel right.
So what better medicine is there than a little Christmas cheer?
I wasn't going to put up a Christmas tree this year but the truth is, it's just not Christmas without one. So last night I went on the search for the perfect tree and I gave it a home.

Now, that's more like it!

frosting, candy, and a friend!

In an effort to heighten the Christmas mood, I invited my friend CC over to make gingerbread houses. It was .....well....."fun". CC said I was ruining her reputation! I said she needed a NEW reputation!


After collapsing too many times, this was my final structure. It sort of looks like a little house right?


CC gave up on the "house" format and decided to make a trailer or a garage or something.
Her's is the little box-like thing on the right. Hmm, I like it:-)


Okay, so looking at it makes my stomach nauscious! Oh well, it was definately an experience!

my current mood is....

irritated and insulted

unless i get some sleep i'm about to start speaking what my mind is thinking, and that might not be a very good thing


people can be so stupid, so careless,
so UNthoughtful, and so rude and why does it seem
that these people come in large groups?!!!


stupid people
stupid stupid thoughtless people who care more about their pathetic righteous building
with marble floors and have no flipping care for a person who needs a brief second to breathe.....stupid

i need to be alone for a while i think


bye for now

he's my hero

Here are 4 very sincere thoughts from a man who has changed my life. His name is Frederick Buechner. I hope you have heard of him. If you haven't, now you have....so go read his books!

I have tried to be as honest as I can be to my own experience: what it's like to be alive on this planet. With a particular eye cocked to, a particular ear cocked to the elusive, ambiguous presence of God.

Listen to your life. Pay attention. Pay attention to what happens to you. Maybe nothing much, but maybe the secret of all secrets you need to hear may come through some event, something that happens or fails to happen.

What makes me a believer is that from time to time, there have been glimpses I've had which have made me suspect the presence of something extraordinary and beyond the realm of the immediate. You encounter the holy in various forms, which, unless you have your eyes open, you might not even notice.

What's lost is nothing to what's found, and all the death that ever was set next to life would scarcely fill a cup.

good times ALWAYS

no other friend like you.

Audra-noggler-banana-smanna-reemaroo

AND

April-smappy-slirpus-mamba-moonie

Friends FOREVER!!!

(the above mentioned nicknames are not as funny
to those who aren't aware of their meaning)








More MORE great memories made in Seattle!